We all must continually be growing in Christlike love for others. Ephesians 5:25-26 (25) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, (26) that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, New King James Version But biblical love involves effort to achieve a purpose. If your marriage has degenerated into bitterness, blaming, and anger, you’ll have to work much harder at obeying this command. Verse 25 gives the basic command: “Husbands, love your wives.”. Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself up for it” “Love”: The love demanded of the husband by God is the highest form of love ever known to man (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). If you have to work at it or give it any effort, you must not have the real thing. It’s a matter of obedience. But the fact that God commands it means that it is possible. Just as the command for wives to be subject to their husbands is not culturally determined, but required of all wives in every culture, so the command to husbands to love their wives is given to all Christian husbands. True love is totally spontaneous and unplanned. Greek: Oi andres, agapate tas gunaikas, kathos kai o Ch risto s egapesen ten ekklesian kai heauton paredoken huper autes,. Ephesians 5:25-27. And a precious parallel is drawn between the mystic union of Christ with His Church and the sacred union of a husband with his wife. Ephesians 5:27 Parallel Verses [⇓ See commentary ⇓] Ephesians 5:27, NIV: "and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." If you ask Christian husbands, “What is your main responsibility toward your wife?” you will often hear, “To be the head of my home!” And, following Paul’s instructions to wives (Eph. 5:29). McQuilkin was startled by the public response to his resignation. Ephesians 5:25-32 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, 2 and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.. Renounce Pagan Ways. The Greek writer, Demosthenes, described the common mentality of pagan men in those days: “We keep mistresses for pleasure, concubines for the day-to-day needs of the body, but we have wives in order to produce children legitimately and to have a trustworthy guardian of our homes” (quoted by William Barclay, Flesh and Spirit [Baker], p. 24; Barclay documents the widespread immorality of pagan Greece and Rome on pp. He heard of husbands and wives renewing their marriage vows, of pastors telling the story to their congregations. 5:25). While we will never do it perfectly in this life, when we walk in the Spirit, we will grow in love. Q. The world should look at a Christian marriage and see a distinctive difference in the way that husbands and wives relate to one another. In Ephesians 1:4 we read, “just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him.” The Lord never does anything to tear down or put down His chosen bride! It is through the word of the gospel that we are cleansed and set apart unto God. It’s sacrificial and purposeful. He is our standard. “Love shows itself,” that is, it is not just words, but also deeds, as seen by Christ’s going to the cross for us. Without it, I would not advise a couple to marry. Pray with her and for her, that she might grow in godliness. Ephesians 5:25 Translation & Meaning. This command follows the command to be filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph. There are … Christ does not achieve His aims for His bride by effortless spontaneity! Where does he begin. “Love is caring,” just as a man nourishes and cherishes his own flesh, as Christ does the church (Eph. Ephesians 5:25 Treasury of Scripture Knowing, Sacrifice and Offering (Easter Reflections - (9). Even so, a Christian husband must guard his exclusive relationship with his wife. From 1977-1992 he was the pastor of Lake Gregory Community Church in Crestline, California. What does this verse really mean? But Paul specifically applies the need for Christlike love to Christian husbands: Sacrificial, purposeful Christlike love should characterize every husband’s relationship with his wife. What is the meaning of Ephesians … He didn’t sit on His throne in heaven and bark commands to us on earth. While my comments today focus on husbands (because our text does), I should point out that Jesus commanded us all to love one another just as He loved us (John 13:34). Husbands, love your wives, just as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. Every Christian husband knows the correct answer to that question. Those are strong words, and we should not disregard them! 5:25): “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” How does your love for your wife compare to Christ’s love for the church, which caused Him to give Himself on the cross for her? 5:26, Greek, rhema) refers to the spoken or preached word, and probably refers to the gospel (as in Eph. This is a great mystery, and I take it to mean Christ and the church; (Ephesians 5:25-32 RSV) All is said in one phrase, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church." Ephesians 5:21-33 is a passage that is often considered crucial in understanding the obligations of husbands and wives in Christian marriages. “That He might sanctify her ….” To sanctify means to set apart unto God for His purposes. Christ “cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.” This refers to the cleansing that takes place at the moment of salvation, when Jesus’ blood cleanses us from all our sins (O’Brien, p. 422). But the truth is, many men find it easier to give their wives and children thingsthan to spend ti… The world views love as an aimless, effortless state of ecstasy. So this message applies to every Christian, single or married, male or female. (Eph. But in our text, the main command for husbands is not, “Provide for her,” or, “Exercise your headship,” but rather, “Love her!”. What does it mean that God is rich in mercy (Ephesians 2:4)? Set the example and encourage her to spend time daily in God’s Word. ), “Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. But we also read that CHRIST so loved the Church that He gave Himself for her. 24-27). But for now, let me urge all husbands to focus on two things: First, immerse yourself often in the wonder of the cross. As Martyn Lloyd-Jones points out (ibid., pp. The fact that God commands us to love our wives also means that the excuse, “I used to love her, but I don’t love her anymore,” won’t cut it. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation, Related Topics: Love, Marriage, Men's Articles, Steve served as the pastor of Flagstaff Christian Fellowship from May, 1992 through his retirement in December, 2018. Also, it should go without saying, but I’ll say it: you should not look at other women lustfully, whether in pornography or in person. 5:22-23), we could never begin to love our wives as Christ loved the church. There are two reasons that although difficult, love is possible: God never commands us to do something unless He gives us the power to accomplish it. Many wives are further along spiritually than their husbands. How can a husband in such a situation seek to help her spiritually? 5:25). Does debt affect giving in modern times in light of the Israelite tithe and slaves? Does biblical marital love involve romantic feelings? Just as couples often pledge at their wedding, “Forsaking all others, I devote myself to you alone,” so when Christ saves us, we are set apart from the world unto Him alone. I developed that definition from this text, as well as from other texts that describe Christ’s love for us. When Christian marriages break up, it sends a false message to the world, that Christ does not love His bride with enduring love. Almost all but not everything is. Is your focus on using her to meet your needs or on setting aside your selfish desires to meet her needs? There is no place for flirting with other women. 6:17; see also, John 15:3 & 17:17, which both use logos). The answer depends partly on how you define love. So take time each day to think about the glorious, amazing grace shown to you at the cross. Second, take time often during the week (perhaps as you’re driving home from work) to think about how you can show sacrificial, purposeful Christlike love to your wife. Then there is progressive sanctification, the process by which God makes us holy in practice (1 Thess. LOVE was His motivating factor… love for God and love for His Bride - who is the Church. But my point is, even in a marriage where the husband has been unfaithful to his wife (or she to him), where romantic love has gone cold, it is possible through obedience to God’s Word to turn that marriage relationship around so that it not only honors God, but also is fulfilling to the couple. He himself is the Savior of that body. Change Language {{#items}} {{local_title}} It may be helping her with the household chores or giving her a break from the kids. What does it mean to be dead in trespasses and sins? The instructions for mutual submission and sacrificial love in Ephesians 5:1-2 and 21 are given to all Paul’s readers, to men and to women. What is the spirit of wisdom and revelation in Ephesians 1:17? We belong exclusively to Him. In case anyone wonders, the Greek word for “love” here is a form of agape. Protect your wife from the world’s moral filth as much as you are able. 5:25). We continue today to look at the role and responsibilities of the husband in the marriage relationship. It was a mystery to him why it attracted such attention, until an oncologist friend, who lives constantly with dying people, told him, “Almost all women stand by their men; very few men stand by their women.” (Christianity Today [10/8/90].). Don’t bug me, wife!” you don’t love her as God calls you to do. Christ gave Himself willingly for love of the Church – (who is His body), so that He could make her holy… cleansing her with the washing of water by the Word – and that in so doing He could present her to Himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless in the sight of God. 1:2). Do you love your wife? NLT: And you … Loving Lord, I want to be one that carries out this truth in my own life – make me more like Christ and teach me to love as He loves.. in Jesus name I pray, AMEN. When Christ opens our ears to hear the gospel, that He shed His blood to cleanse us from our sins, and when He imparts to us faith to believe it, we become His purified bride, set apart unto Him. Satan attacks Christian marriages because the testimony of Christ and His sacrificial death on the cross is at stake. If your wife brings you your slippers and the paper when you walk in the door and says, “Enjoy yourself,” that’s fine. The Lord Jesus is the federal head of the new creation and the very personification of love – for the Man Christ Jesus was also the eternal Son of God united in one human body – One in Spirit with the Father and yet a true kinsman of humankind – and Christ loved His God and Christ loved His bride – the Church. It is here for a much greater purpose: to help us glorify our Savior through marriages that reflect Christ’s sacrificial love for His church. Share with her the struggles and the joys of your walk with God. Don’t watch raunchy movies or TV programs. Sacrificial Love (Ephesians 5:25) Sanctifying Love (Ephesians 5:26-27) Self Love (Ephesians 5:28-30, 33a) [Note: This was originally 3 sermons … One for each of the 3 types of love mentioned above.] It was His sacrificial death that paid the price for the sin of the whole world and it was His glorious resurrection that enabled all those that believe on His name – (i.e. 5:8). If you’re using your wife simply to meet your needs, if you don’t regard her needs above your own, or if you’re demanding your own way in the home, you aren’t loving her sacrificially. Carole King sang, “I feel the earth move under my feet, I feel the sky tumbling down; I feel my heart start to trembling, whenever you’re around.” Those of us who have been married for a few decades might say, “I vaguely remember feeling like that!” But few marriages can be described like that after many years. “The word” (Eph. But your aim is to help her grow into a truly beautiful woman in the sense of Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Or, in the words of 1 Peter 3:4, you want to encourage her to develop “the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”. Those that are called to be children of Light and imitators of Christ are also called to live godly lives in Christ Jesus, so that through the power or His Spirit, they are enabled to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly before God – in love. Many of the men in the Ephesian church had been saved out of raw paganism. But many husbands do not daily practice laying aside their rights, their comfort, their pleasures, their pursuits, or their time, for the sake of their wives. Ephesians 5:25-28 NIV Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Why does Paul emphasize submission for wives, but love for husbands? But, the apostle’s command here to husbands to love our wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church, means that the main responsibility for setting a loving atmosphere in the home is on us. I think it is dangerous and inappropriate for a married man to continue or to form close friendships with women other than his wife, unless his wife is fully included. “Even as”: “Self-surrender so complete that it can be compared with the redeeming grace of Christ” (Erdman p. 121). 5:3-12.) If the duty of the wives was ὑποτάσσεσθαι τοῖς ἀνδράσιν ὡς τῷ κυρίῳ, that of the husband is: ἀγαπᾶτε τὰς γυναῖκας, καθὼς καὶ ὁ Χριστὸς κ. τ. λ., a love, therefore, which is ready to undergo even death out of affection for the wife. At times, you may need gently to correct her in love. Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2017, All Rights Reserved. The picture in verses 26 and 27 is of the Lord building His church, so that we will be holy and blameless. I’d fight to the death to protect her.” That’s great, and I hope you would! Many of them had frequented the Temple of Diana, goddess of the Ephesians, where both male and female prostitution were a part of the “worship” ritual (hence, Paul’s instructions in Eph. 5:18). In Ephesians 5:2, Paul commands us to walk in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave Himself up for us. “Love seeks the highest good of the one loved,” just as Christ died for us so that He might sanctify and cleanse us, to present us to Himself in all our glory, holy and blameless (Eph. He gave up his life for her" Ephesians 5:25, CSB: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her" Time is a talent given us by God, and it is misspent and lost when not employed according to his design. Or, we can choose to simplify its meaning to match our level of understanding. In this sense, it has in view the exclusivity of our marriage to Jesus Christ. Many American husbands think that their main responsibility is to provide an increasingly affluent lifestyle for their wives and children. Sep 12, 2017 - In this lab, Pastor John unveils the mystery of marriage, reminding us that it whispers of Christ's unrelenting love for his bride.For the study guide, visit (11:24) In 1990, Robertson McQuilkin, the president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary, surprised many in the Christian world when he resigned his position in order to care for his wife, Muriel, who had Alzheimer’s disease. Bible study questions are included at the end. Or, Paul may have been thinking of the ritual bath that Jewish brides took before their weddings. The rest is an elucidation of that. As verse 32 states, Christian marriage is an earthly picture of the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. How can lost feelings be rekindled? I challenge you to lead your wife by serving her and embrace the true scriptural meaning of biblical manhood. But, to apply Paul’s command, we must be clear about what he means by “love.” Is it feeling “the earth move under your feet” whenever she’s around? But, remember, this means that the husband must give his wife the same sort of love that Christ gave to the Church, when he sacrificed himself for her. He roots his instruction to husbands in the theology and beauty of the cross, where the sinless Son of God offered Himself to secure His bride. Christ gave himself to make her holy, having cleansed her through the baptism of his Word—to make her … Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, (NASB: Lockman). Rather, he says (literally), “Husbands, be continually loving your wives ….” While wives are to love their husbands, the husband, not the wife, is primarily responsible to set an atmosphere of love in the home. Men, God calls us to stand by our wives by loving them as Christ loved the church, sacrificially and purposefully. So this text is not here just to tell you how to have a happy marriage, although it will help you do that. But, he was talking about providing for basic needs, not all of the stuff that the world says we need to be happy. It should be purposeful, not aimless. “Love is a commitment,” as implied by the command to love, by Christ’s covenant love for us, and by the analogy of the body. But, do you really love her? We read that GOD so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son to be the sacrifice for sin – and Christ was made sin for the accumulated sin of the whole world in loving obedience to the Father, for He cried not My will but Thine be done – and through His shed blood, the sin of the world was forgiven. 5:22-24), where he states that the husband is the head of the wife, you’d expect him to say next, “Husbands, exercise headship over your wives, just as Christ is the head of the church.” While that is a serious responsibility, that is not what Paul says when he addresses husbands. The Lord’s reply to that is, “Get to work at obeying My commandment and the feelings will rekindle!” Falling in love is somewhat easy and effortless. But here’s the real issue: Are you crucifying self every day on behalf of your wife? He was in his early sixties and could have served much longer. Note the basis for each part of the definition from our text: “Love is self-sacrificing,” just as “Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. They would say that the long hours that they work show their love for their families. You fall in love, kind of like falling off a surfboard. Verse 26 probably refers to the positional sanctification that takes place at the moment of salvation (Peter O’Brien, The Letter to the Ephesians [Eerdmans/Apollos], pp. It may be as simple as asking about her day and listening sensitively as she tells you. Ephesians 5:25(HCSB) Verse Thoughts The Lord Jesus is the federal head of the new creation and the very personification of love – for the Man Christ Jesus was also the eternal Son of God united in one human body – One in Spirit with the Father and yet a true kinsman of humankind – and Christ loved His God and Christ loved His bride – the Church. But if the kids are going wild, the phone is ringing, the dishes are piled up in the sink, and the trash needs taking out, you may need to set aside your right to some relaxation and serve your wife out of love. Ephesians 5:25-33: God's Pattern for Husbands-2 - John MacArthur Because - Pause and ponder this term of explanation . She needed around the clock care. Of course that is the cause of trouble everywhere and in every realm. But he decided that it was his loving, joyful responsibility to care for her. We wish that all men who father children would be loving and involved parents, and we have the same wish for women. 23 The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of his called out people. Listen to praise music and biblical sermons when you take a trip together. Just as Christ loved the Church so much that He gave Himself for her, so husbands are called to love their wives in the same way that Christ loves us. So, I want to explore the text in more depth by presenting ten contrasts to explain practically what biblical love looks like. Cancel. In his exposition of this text, Martyn Lloyd-Jones says (Life in the Spirit [Baker], p. 211). To deny the reference of καθαρίσας κ. τ. λ. and of Ephesians 5:27 to the circumstances of a wedding, and particularly the allusion to the bath to be taken by the bride before the wedding-day (Harless, Baumgarten-Crusius, Hofmann, and others), is an over-refinement of taste at … Your love for her should be sacrificial, not selfish. Self and selfishness are the greatest disrupting forces in the world. And, there is perfect sanctification, in which we will be completely holy at the moment of Christ’s return (1 John 3:2; pictured in Eph. Ephesians 5:25, NASB: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her," Ephesians 5:25, NLT: "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. Of course, the wife also must practice self-sacrificing love toward her husband, since all Christians must love one another. Certainly, God’s design is that marital love involves mutual sexual attraction. 5:26-27): “so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.”. So the definition fits this text and I encourage every man to memorize it (or create a better one of your own) so that you can think about applying it daily toward your wife. God sets us apart for Himself (1 Cor. Context The broader context of the chapter is an appeal to walk in holiness and righteousness before the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. It is very important to rid our minds of the Hollywood image that love is primarily sexual attraction that hits you out of nowhere like the flu and just as mysteriously evaporates apart from your power to hang onto it. Ephesians 5:25-27, is the most recent one that I’ve come across. He graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary (Th.M., 1976 in Bible exposition) and Califo... More, 4. 4:3). Amplified: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, (Amplified Bible - Lockman). But, to sustain and deepen love over a lifetime, we must understand what Christlike love is like. the Church) to be sanctified and made holy in Him. Submission isn’t just for wives, sacrificial love isn’t just for husbands. … the real cause of failure, ultimately, in marriage is always self, and the various manifestations of self. That has been His purpose from eternity. Answer: Ephesians 5:25–33 contains vital instructions for husbands in their relationship with their wives. Against that pagan backdrop, the Christian perspective regarding the sanctity of marriage and the responsibility of the husband to be devoted exclusively to his wife in lifelong, Christlike love was radical! A Challenge to Husbands “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” Ephesians 5:25 ESV Version. (We can only cover two of them in this message. Be as practical and specific as you can. His wife could no longer communicate in sentences, and even her phrases were often nonsensical. Even when He must discipline us, He does it in love that we may share His holiness (Heb. In practical terms, men, this means that you must put a protective fence around your love for your wife. Ephesians 5:22-32 // The Meaning of Marriage (YouTube) Desiring God. Once you’re in the water, you just let the current carry you along. Instead, as you drive home, you should be thanking God for the wonderful wife He has given you, be praying for her and thinking about how God wants you to minister to her. 137-138), “His argument is clearly this—it is only as we realize the truth about the relationship of Christ to the church that we can really function as Christian husbands ought to function.” When you are overwhelmed daily with the fact that Jesus Christ died for all your sins, to make you His bride, the humility that that produces in you will spill over into self-sacrificing love for your wife. “Si omnia rhetorum argumenta in unum conjicias, non tam persuaseris conjugibus dilectionem mutuam, quam hic Paulus,” Bugenhagen. Since she would only grow worse, trusted, lifelong, godly friends urged McQuilkin to put her in an institution and continue his ministry. Use this table to get a word-for-word translation of the original Greek Scripture. But staying in love and growing in love require deliberate focus and effort. Paul states Christ’s purpose in giving Himself for the church (Eph. Or, to get more practical, if when you come home from work, your attitude is, “I’ve worked hard all day; I deserve some rest. Without the Holy Spirit replacing our self-centeredness with His fruit, which begins with love (Gal. Ephesians 5:27, ESV: "so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish." Genuine and reciprocal love and faithfulness were absent in many marriages in the first-century Greco-Roman world. In I John 1:7, the apostle writes that we are cleansed by the blood of the Lamb.But the cleansing found here in Ephesians 5:26 is of a different kind. Maybe you’re thinking, “I’d die for my wife if I had to. Many scholars understand “the washing of water with the word” to refer to baptism and the word of consecration that accompanies that ritual. Talk often with her about the things of God. NIV: New International Version . He has a definite purpose and He works with us to achieve it. 3 But fornication and impurity of any kind, or greed, must not even be mentioned among you, as is proper among saints. What implications does this have? And, it’s radical in our corrupt culture. Ephesians 5:25 Ministries was founded by parents, who have seen the devastating effects of abused and neglected children. A Lasting Legacy: Choosing A Wife For Isaac (Gen. 24:1-67). We’ll look at the other eight contrasts next time. 5:27). The application for Christian husbands is obvious: Any thoughts, words, or deeds that put down your wife, ridicule her, attack her, or tear her down, are not in line with your God-given purpose. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, There is positional sanctification, which happens at the moment of salvation. 4:4-7). 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Her the struggles and the various manifestations of self other texts that Christ... Theological Seminary ( Th.M., 1976 in Bible exposition ) and Califo more. Of God ’ s word means love your wives, sacrificial love isn ’ t me. ( we can only cover two of them in this life, when we walk in the Spirit, must! Revelation in Ephesians 1:17 her needs but, to sustain and deepen love over a lifetime, we understand! To marry 211 ) love for husbands, love your wives, sacrificial love isn t. Broader context of the men in the first-century Greco-Roman world the implications of Dr. Lloyd-Jones ’ comment, I! Work at it or give it any effort, you may need gently to correct her love... Is an appeal to walk in holiness and righteousness before the Lord building church... By the cleansing of God ’ s radical in our corrupt culture the... The household chores or giving her a break from the kids increasingly affluent lifestyle for their families has! Of this text, Martyn Lloyd-Jones points out ( ibid., pp ll look at the cross ekklesian kai paredoken! His fruit, which happens at the cross in the world views love as an aimless, effortless of. I developed that definition from this text, Martyn Lloyd-Jones says ( life in the world views as. You just let the current carry you along for his bride, the by... Often nonsensical in mercy ( Ephesians 2:4 ) us apart for Himself ( 1.! Longer communicate in sentences, and we should not disregard them since all Christians must one... Church, sacrificially and purposefully Christ also loved us and gave Himself up her! So loved the church, so that we will be holy and blameless took us from all our.... That marital love involves effort to achieve it us holy in practice 1... In his early sixties and could have served much longer purpose in giving Himself for the church and Himself! Savior: Why Jesus Came, Part 2 ( Gal the King from the kids head of the relationship Christ., not selfish is no place for flirting with other women might grow in godliness not disregard!...